The Great American Hegemony - Bring back the British!

Out of the myriad of television channels available for viewing pleasure (Sony Pix) or in most cases, displeasure (Star Plus) to the Indian market, there is one commonality that has been scratching my brain like an infected rash. Namely, why the hell are all the English channels in India catering to American shows and American shows only?

In the insanity of crapula that Indian TV throws at the viewers, I used to find refuge in Star World. But lately, I have been second guessing myself. Watching American sitcom 'gems' like "According to Jim" and "Yes Dear," I have come to appreciate how really retarded commercial humour can be. Here's how to make a typical dialogue in an American sitcom:

Person 1: "Blah de blah blah"
Person 2: "Well, blah de blah blah blah"
(Play fake but assertive laugh track)
-Repeat-

The other day I had the chance to spend some time at a friend's house and use his Tata Sky DTH TV service. Having read that Tata Sky is the only service showing the "BBC Entertainment" channel, I decided to check it out. Not to my surprise, I found the shows compelling, substantive, and more importantly not intended for the brain dead (well most of them at least). But that is not to say that the shows are pretentious or intellectually condescending. The pity is that even Tata Sky only shows this channel from 6pm to 6am.

What's worse is the attitude of channels like Star world and Zee Cafe who take pride in "bringing [us] the latest American hit shows" - as if that should give us all a collective hard-on in our pants.

Taking this argument further, one of my pet peeves about Delhi, and perhaps India in whole, is the dismal standards of Movie halls here. On any given day, open the paper and check out the movie listings. Every move hall will show exactly the same movies - all Hollywood 'Blockbusters' - one mind numbingly stupid ass slapstick comedy / chick flick / retardo action movie after another. And while it's trite to argue that this is what the audience wants, I would contend that this is what the audience knows. People aren't necessarily stupid (though all evidence points to the opposite). But they are not movie 'buffs' at the same time, and people will largely eat what they are fed, unless they know any better, and my contention is that they don't.

But where did we as a society throw in the towel and bend over for the American media / Hollywood? And more importantly, why the shit do we continue to do so?

I can only hope that with news companies coming in to the TV industry and new technologies emerging like IPTV, the consumer is given more choice, and we get to see not just American, but British, European, Chinese, Japanese etc. shows and movies.

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Justice is a dish best served with a side of STFU: Sanjay Dutt - Behind bars or Above the law?

This whole Sanjay Dutt thing is getting out of hand. Contrary to logic, sense, the rule of law and all things noble, the media, celebrities and in fact the public-at-large as per my diagnosis has gone bonkers. Reluctantly, I am forced to exercise my brain at this wee hour to present to you a point by point dissection of why everyone is SO wrong.

Disclaimer: The following post contains a healthy dose of the contempt I have in my heart for:
a) People
b) Bollywood
c) Sensationalism
d) The media
e) The media
f) The media
If you are faint of heart or rather faint of brain and / or cannot comprehend or appreciate sarcasm, I strongly advise that you don't read this post, or my blog, ever. Seriously.


Now here are some statements I have come across blurted out in his defence (and an assortment of other delectable jewels of a mix of 1 part stupidity and 5 parts sensationalism):

1. "People make mistakes."
   Yes, and sometimes they have to pay for their mistakes. This is one of those times.
   
2. "He's already served time. He should be let go now."
   It's the responsibility and the discretion of the judiciary, and not the media or popular opinion, to decide on the quantum of sentencing of a person convicted of a criminal offence. I place the judicial sensibilities of a judge much higher than that of ordinary journalists and lay persons.
   
3. "He's a versatile and talented actor."
   Of course, everyone else convicted of a crime that they have committed are talentless idiots. I can juggle while whistling "Saare Jahaan se achcha...". Maybe I will use that in my defence one day.
   
4. He's been targeted because he's famous.
   This statement makes me laugh and cry at the same time. It is a favourite statement of people who, had he actually been acquitted, would have whined that he got away because he's famous.
   
5. "He's such a nice guy."
   Clearly, since the vast majority of us have had great personal interaction with him and are privy to his thoughts and feelings, we can state with authority even the subtlest facets of his personality. I think I should note this one down for my future defence too. I am sure if I am faced with defending myself in a criminal prosecution, being a 'nice guy' would make all the difference. I wonder if in jail Sanjay Dutt is signing Alice Cooper's, "No more Mr. Nice Guy."
   
6. "Something like this shouldn't happen to someone who so many people love."
   No, only people who are hated by a lot of people should be subject to the law. Public adoration should literally be a 'get out of jail free' card.
   
7. "He's reformed now."
   The above point applies here as well. In addition I would say that it's not my place to judge whether he is reformed or not, because that's a job for the court to do. And this exact matter would have been considered by the judge in the assessing whether he should be given probation or not. I do think however that it's worth of noting that at the end of the day his job is to act, i.e. stage performance. So hypothetically speaking, if he is indeed unreformed, it would not be too arduous a task for him to mask that whilst in the public eye.
   
8. "The bollywood industry thinks that the court sentence is too harsh."
   The day that I start giving two shits about what the bollywood industry thinks is the day that I will myself purchase a gun - not to support terrorists, but to shoot myself in the head. (btw this is a solution I advocate to others too).
   Postscript: People in Bollywood think? I wouldn't have thought so considering that most of their movies are terrible rehashes (and allegedly plagiarised copies) of other movies?
9. "Other people are getting away with committing bigger crimes than he has."
   While this may be a true and sad state of affairs in our country, or actually, much of this world, it doesn't exonerate him of his crimes.
   
10. We should petition the President of India to get him out.
    (Let's not even get into the controversies surrounding the President). We should petition God for some good sense and restraint before making dumb comments instead.

Now, I have no personal grudge against the guy. He may not be my favourite actor, but he is far from being my most hated. If in the course of the appellate process his sentence is reduced as per due proceudre, I have no issues. But if he is let go because of public sentiment and misplaced activism, I think it would be a travesty and an insult to law-abiding citizens and the legal process.

By the way, not that this has to do specifically with Sanjay Dutt, but there is an excellent movie made on the Bombay blasts called 'Black Friday.' I highly recommend this movie if you haven't seen it yet. Despite the grim topic, it is very entertaining.

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Twisted Logic #3 - Egypt - 1, India - 0

Twisted Logic: Voting for the Taj Mahal was probably one of the most unpatriotic things you have done this week.

Major Props to Egypt. They not only had the brains, but also the guts to stand up to the 'New 7 Wonders' and call it for what it is - bullshit. While their government stood up for their cultural heritage, and refused to participate or support this rubbish, our people and news agencies opened up their hearts and wallets (but shut their minds) to the corporation behind this farce.

Ironically, people voted for Taj Mahal out of a perceived sense of patriotism. The truth, however, as exposed in this article in The Pioneer is that the very people who spent their money on this bogus campaign are the furthest thing from being patriotic. We as a country have given a number of greedy individuals and companies our money in the name of cultural heritage and some really skewed idea that this will somehow increase tourism. The said money, which the article estimates to be around Rs. 150 crore (yes, you read that right!!) if had been donated to actual upkeep, preservation and promotion of the Taj Mahal, would actually have been the real patriotic thing to do and would have done miracles for the monument. Shame on us.


The Shitlist so far:

• Indians who voted for this campaign
• Bernard Weber
• New Open World Corporation
• DNA Networks
  
• BSNL
• CNN-IBN
• NDTV

(This is by no means an exhaustive list. If you know of any other individuals, organizations or companies that perpetuated this abomination, please leave a comment, and I shall add them to the list).

The Heroes:

• People who actively chose not to vote
• Egyptian Culture Minister Farouq Hosni
• UNESCO
• The Pioneer (15 June '07, 8 July '07)
  
• The Indian Express (Link)
  

The travesty of this is that the greedy assholes are not done yet. Now they are proposing another 'campaign' called the "New 7 Wonders of Nature."

Note: In case the link for the Pioneer article doesn't work, go to The Pioneer's homepage | Scroll down to "Archives" | Select 15 June, 2007 (or 8 July, 2007) and click "Go!" | Scroll down to the Article and click on the Headline.

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Boo PVR Cinemas & (Pepsi) Aquafina

PVR Cinemas, particularly the multiplex at Saket, is perhaps one of my most despised locations to watch a movie in Delhi. Bad legspace, terrible audio, overpriced yet extremely unappetizing snacks, parking problems, non-availability of tickets, poor variety of movies (Hindi & English mainstream 'blockbusters' only) are just few of the factors why I would rather buy / rent a DVD and watch it at home than go to this place. Today I found another one - bottled water.

It was one of those days where I wanted to see a movie on a big screen, and was able to do so in the morning. Morning shows alleviate the problems of parking and non-availability of tickets. so I said, "What the heck." The movie was nice, but here's something interesting I found. PVR cinemas gets specially packaged water from Aquafina. No big deal there. In addition, as per their display board, the cinema hall charged as per the MRP (Maximum Retail Price) on the bottle. That's sweet of them.

But here's the kicker.

The bottled is marked MRP Rs. 20.

But the net weight is only 750 ml.

With a little bit of Math, that means that this bottled water costs Rs. 26.67 per litre. Interestingly, a bottle of Aquafina in the regular market (presumably the water in both is of the same quality) comes for Rs. 12 per litre!

So what's going? Presumably this has something do with the case of Ankit Jain, who took Nirula's (a fast food chain) to Consumer court for charging him way above the MRP for a soft-drink can, won the case, thereby enforcing the law that packaged goods cannot be sold at cost above than the printed MRP.

Seems fishy!!! - has PVR cinemas found a loophole by colluding with the manufacturer to jack up the MRP?

Disclaimer: The alleged collusion and all above information is nothing more than a rant. There is no claim to truth in this article. I am not party to any information or agreement between PepsiCo and PVR Cinemas. This post is merely an observation by a lay consumer which leads to an interesting question. Furthermore, I do not claim that any such action or related actions by PepsiCo or PVR Cinemas is in any way contrary to the provisions of law. However, I reserve the right to have distaste for their deficiency of services.

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DVD Region Encoding, Piracy, Solutions...

This came as a surprise to me. Apparently the main purpose behind DVD region-encoding is to curb piracy! I always thought that it was just to irritate consumers.

Disclaimer: I neither condone nor condemn piracy. This is a mere rant.

Most people who use DVDs have probably experienced the annoyance of region encoding. Simply put, region encoding is a mechanism built in to original DVD movies (and video games) that disables you from playing DVDs from one region in a player belonging to another region. For more on regional encoding, click here.

Unfortunately the forces that be are most probably going to extend this tremendously stupid practice to the next generation, though in the case of Blu-Ray discs the number of regions would be reduced.

The reason I call this tremendously stupid is in relation to the fact that pirated discs are what is called 'region-free' - i.e. they don't have this locking mechanism. So in essence, pirated discs are more consumer friendly than original discs! Couple that with the fact that you can get pirated discs for a fraction of the cost of an original DVD movie, and you have marketing suicide.

The only reasons that DVDs sell are that people don't know of the pirated options, and/or don't want to bother with visiting seedy shops. In a few cases, people might even have an ethical objection to piracy. That would be fairly remote though.

So how can they fight piracy?

A better business model - There is no way that the movie industry et al will win this war in the courts. No. way. There are too many people involved in copyright violations and piracy, and moreover, most of them operate beyond the jurisdiction of American courts. The 'war' cannot be won by technological means either. The very nature of hackers is that they thrive on intellectual stimulation. Companies adopting more complex and tougher copy protection mechanisms only translates to offering a greater challenge to pirates (not to mention, also increasing their profit potential!) The only way piracy can be beat in long term is by giving better value for money, i.e. an improved mix of price and quality.

Price :
The irony in region encoding is that it could have been best used to enable companies to utilize price discrimination, i.e. they could have charged different costs for their movies in different countries. e.g. an original ps2 game in India costs over Rs. 2,000. A pirated ps2 game Costs Rs. 50. An average college graduate in an area like New Delhi can hope to earn between Rs. 10,000 and Rs. 15,000 at his first job. Which option do you think he / she would go for? In my very unscientific but empirically sound judgment, I find the difference in cost of living translates such that an average persons spending $40 in the U.S. is about the same as an average person spending Rs. 400 in India. Thus, perhaps a more appropriate price for original ps2 games would be around Rs. 500.

Furthermore, by changing the method of distribution from physical DVDs sold in brick-and-mortar stores, if the industries focus more on distributing via the internet (and concurrently investing in ISPs to increase speed and connectivity), they will find themselves with a bigger profit margin, part of which can be passed on to the consumer in terms of lower prices.

Quality :
The biggest flaw with the DVD and other optical disc media is durability. A few scratches on your disc, and you can no longer enjoy your movie / video games / music. This is one area where original media beats pirated media, but only slightly. Pirated discs are typically of low quality but given the way the average person uses them (short term not long term) this is usually insignificant. Moreover, the price difference is such that you can buy and replace your pirated discs several times over for the cost of one original disc. However, notably, most people when they buy something like it to work without any issue or hassle, and this is one of the few reasons why someone would opt for original content over pirated content.

The appropriate measure to take here would be the introduction of schemes whereby consumers would be able to replace their scratched discs at a nominal cost instead of having to buy the disc again. (But of course, the best solution would be to move to a more durable format).

Conclusion : Legal and technological options alone will not end piracy, but would only make piracy more profitable. What the industries need to do is to look at their very own foundation of capitalism - the 'war' has to be fought in the market. Ironically, the very ideology that started modern industry has now in this case come to bite them back in the ass. Compete or be extinct.

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Boo This Man!

You may have never seen this man before. But he sucks and you may be a victim of his marketing. His name is Bernard Weber. A Swiss national, he is the 'brains' behind the 'New 7 Wonders' campaign. If you have received any SMSes / e-mails asking you to vote for the Taj Mahal, you would know what I am talking about. More on that, and the newspaper article which exposes this farce after the link.

This campaign is an atrocious attempt to make 'American Idol' style voting bullshit out of the world's cultural heritage. The main idea is that the Weber and his New Open World Corporation have taken it upon themselves to create a new list of The 7 Wonders of the World. How do they do this? They have signed up with multiple telecom companies throughout the world to establish a system whereby you can vote for your favourite monument via SMS, phone or the internet. This of course generates revenue for them as well as the telecom companies, though they claim on their website that this is only to "fund the project." This way their corporation feeds off the patriotic sentiments of gullible people throughout the world, to make some money, and to have a swell party in Lisbon in July to announce the 'winners.'

Unfortunately a lot of people fall for this bullshit, and fail to even address the basic question of who gave Bernard Weber or his corporation the authority (or even the appropriate credibility) to engage in this 'campaign'? The '7 Wonders' can be traced back to ancient times (a few hundred years B.C.) and although there is a lot of debate but no consensus on what comes under the list and what doesn't, I for one find it wholly inappropriate for a corporation to use it commercially in this manner. The tragedy is that patriotism is a sentiment that can make idiots out of people as I recently experienced.

Surprisingly, (at least with reference to my recent criticism of the media) I highly recommend reading a very good article written on this farcical enterprise by Girish Sharma in The Pioneer.

Edit: In case the link for the Pioneer article doesn't work, go to The Pioneer's homepage | Scroll down to "Archives" | Select 15 June, 2007 and click "Go!" | Scroll down to the Article titled " 'New list' of wonders a money-making ploy."

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Innovation: A Famine in India

When it comes to consumer goods, especially electronic items, I come across one very common phenomenon time and again - and that is the import of electronics and other goods which are designed for western markets into India, without any apparent application of mind in adapting the product for Indian conditions. A few examples:

1. In places like Delhi (and AFAIK Mumbai) most cars are driven by drivers and not the owners themselves. Would it not make sense then to provide separate air conditioner vents for the back seat? I find it absurd that people spend 20, 30, 40 etc. lakhs on cars, and then their drivers get to stay cool more than the owner!! (of course eventually it cools down - that's not the point). The only car I know of that has this feature is the Tata Indigo.
   The same, by the way, applies to automatic transmission, which is just oh so sweet for driving in traffic jams, but still few manufacturers offer AT, and when they do it comes at a significant premium.
   
2. HDTV - this is my personal favourite pet peeve (mainly because I don't have one! ;) ). But coming to the point, shops are selling, and people are buying widescreen, HDTV LCDs left right and center - in a country where there is no HD content on TV!!! And even widescreen content is limited to DVDs, which again are not as preferred by the mainstream as VCDs. Yet, people spend lakhs on a single TV only to watch their fave saas-bahu serial all stretched out horizontally... sick!
3. Cell Phones - Nokia, Sony Ericsson and others all are quick are importing and advertising their latest imports. However, what's the point of importing phones that are 3G when 3G is not even available in India! (and there are some really nice phones like the SE M600i which only have 3G internet access capabilities, and not even EDGE).
   

What's worse is than in a country which is so prominent on the IT map of the world, domestic products are terrible. Only someone with a very tight budget and/or little value for quality would go in for a desi TV, or other products such as the atrociously ugly and overpriced HCL Neopod mp3 player. The end result is that we depend on foreign manufactured products, and consequently have to bear the atrocious duty on such products.

Really, what is the problem? Is there a famine of creativity in our country? Why are we so good at being servile (e.g. BPOs) but so bad at being innovative? Why is it that we are not coming up with the next new thing in TV technology?

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Breaking News: Vatican Issues 10 Commandments for Drivers.... Public-at-large Yawns.

(Photo Credit: The Veblog)

Is the Vatican issuing 10 commandments for drivers news?!? A joke, yes, but news?!?! I hate the path much of Indian media is taking - and that is in the footsteps of American media. If there is anything I hate more than the inane bullshit that tabloidesque newspaper supplements print, it's the damn channels on TV, taking a dump on the general public 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (btw the use of the term "24x7" is not a dig at NDTV specifically).

Problems with the contemporary media:

• The whole concept of dedicated 24x7 news channels presupposes that there is enough news out there for every second of every day.
• Ethics are so terribly lacking - I remember when the bombs went of in Sarojini Nagar in Delhi, their own coverage showed how reporters were actually getting in the way of doctors in the emergency ward who were trying to give immediate attention to very seriously injured patients - all to get close-ups of bloody patients.
  
• They love to gloat about their showy but really unimportant achievements (such as in having the maximum viewership) - which takes me to my next point...
  
• TRPs = retardation.
• The way they influence mobs in protest. Not only do they give a distorted image, but with recent reports, it seems they actually have a role in agitating them.
  
• Their wholly unscientific reporting of 'scientific' studies. For example, they reported how scientists have narrowed down a gene related to monogamy. The popular media then extrapolated this study to the human race, and in their typical sensationalist bullshit started predicting that such gene could perhaps one day be manipulated to 'cure' polygamous humans. It takes three words to destroy this prophecy: Human Cultural History. Humans have been polygamous for the majority of their history, yet monogamy has now come to be accepted as the status quo in most complex societies. Thus, polygamy / monogamy is a cultural issue and not a genetic one. But examining the whole issue isn't that exciting.
• Bollywood exists because of the media, and I hate Bollywood। The media today creates people with chai-wallah faces like Shah Rukh Khan into 'hot superstars.'
• 
  
• To be continued...
  

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Cables and More...

These are a few pictures I took yesterday in the Paharganj area in Delhi. I am fascinated by how terribly the electric / phone /cable TV companies lay their wires!! (And yet how few accidents and fires occur). Click below for more pictures.

More Pictures at Paharganj:




p.s. Major props to Airtel for not only laying down their cables very well, but also insisting to the customer that they do so even if he/she demands otherwise.

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Aishwarya Rai Sucks

World, here's my exposé on why she is so damn annoying.

Aishwarya Rai sucks because:

1. She cannot act. What she does is an insult to acting - and my evidence is Dhoom 2, which is perhaps the single most heinous movie ever made in Bollywood.
2. Really, she is not that hot - as is evidenced above. Sure she was Miss World, but that doesn't prove anything except that she was willing to degrade herself to participating in a stupid and shallow 'contest.' She is not the 'world's most beautiful woman' - not even close.
3. I am tired of seeing her in the news - whether is praying at some temple, her being manglik (whatever that means) or her wedding to Abhishek Bachchan (who probably didn't bother to shave for the wedding) - I. Don't. Care. It's not news. It's bullshit.
4. She did a bang-up job 'representing' India on the Oprah show... and by "bang-up" I mean "abominable."
5. She has the fashion sense of a blind & deaf dog dying a slow death from rabies.
6. Her apparent 'hotness' gets her serious roles like that of Kiranjit Ahluwalia in the Movie 'Provoked' even though she can't act, and really is not suitable for the role. Here's the real Kiranjit Ahluwalia - would you cast Aishwarya Rai to play her?

(Kiranjit Ahluwalia - has nothing in common with Aishwarya Rai)

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Advaita Gig - NCR

Advaita is an upcoming band that is based in Delhi. It's one of the very few bands in India that has a unique sound, and tremendous potential to grow. There's a good gig coming up, so I thought I'd post about it here.

Date: June 24, 2007 (Sunday)
Venue: Shri Ram School Auditorium, DLF III
Time: 5:00pm

Advaita is an eclectic fusion band based in New Delhi, India. As their name suggests (an ancient Indian philosophy meaning Non (A) Dual (Dvai), the band has a spiritual dimension, which runs through their work.

The members of this outfit come from all kinds of musical backgrounds from rock to Indian classical. Their brand of contemporary ‘organic’ fusion has however, been hailed as one of the most original and creative sounds to ever come out of the Indian underground music scene. No where else can one hear a sarangi, tabla and and Hindustani Classical vocalist blend so effortlessly, yet so exotically with guitars, drums and keyboards. Added to this brew are electronic soundscapes which give their music a new age global context.

The last season has seen Advaita’s reputation grow by leaps and bounds and the band is now considered one of the most exciting live acts on the circuit in Delhi.

Outlook magazine refer to them as ‘pioneers’ of a new sound and The Hindustan Times very recently awarded them the title of ‘bright spark’ in their survey of the Delhi music scene. Advaita’s refreshing approach to the confluence of Eastern and Western sounds and their mature song-writing has also won them praise from such respected artists as Shubha Mudgal, Talvin Singh and Salman Ahmed of Junoon.

Website: http://www.advaitaonline.net/

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Solution to Parking problem in Delhi

Delhi is becoming super congested, and if there is any lesson that the government, the MCD and the general public should learn from this past year's Supreme Court sealings, it is that they need to sort out parking in the city fast before we find ourselves in an irreparable situation.

My idea is that they should just have a simple rule for residential as well as commercial premises - when you construct a building you have to provide for as much parking as you would require. Keep the damn streets free for pedestrians.

So if you open a multiplex and expect a seating of 1000, then you should not be allowed to operate until you construct a (multi-level) parking that can fit approximately 350 cars (i.e. about 1000 ÷ 3). (There can be a cap of Rs. 100 for 2 hrs parking, and within that businesses can decide what they want to charge).

And for residential purposes, if you build a house with 6 flats, you should have a capacity to park 6 x 2 = 12 cars. Visitors can park outside up to 4 hours - anything more requiring a notification to your RWA (for example if one has overnight visitors).

This is IMHO essential for sustained economic growth of the city.

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Twisted Logic #2 - Reservations

Vote bank politics, Youth for Equality, AIIMS doctors on strikes - but are reservations really bad for the non-backward general public?

My proposition: Reservations will be great for the country, but not really by uplifting 'backward' classes.

Explanation: Reservations/Quotas is a very controversial and divisive topic of discussion today. On one side are the 'backward' people who claim a right to quotas vis-a-vis reparations for apparent years (or do they say centuries?) of oppression. On the other side, is the general 'forward' public that claims that quotas will destroy the value for merit, and that too in furtherance of caste-based, vote-bank politics and not any genuine philanthropic sentiment.

But everyone involved in this debate seems to forget one thing - For the most part colleges (and really the whole educational system) here is really bad. From Day 1, the value imbibed by students is that one has to go through school, college, a master's degree etc. to get a good job. Note that the purpose of education is not to make you a better person. It's to get you a better job. And even working with that assumption, there is only a minute segment of the whole 1 billion+ population that gets to go to genuinely excellent institutions like the IIMs and IITs.

My theory is that once 50% reservations become the status quo, good students will be forced to look at options abroad (U.S., U.K. etc.) where they will actually get a good education!!! (gasp!) And in the U.S. at least, the concept of financial aid ensures that no student would be left behind merely on account of the inability to pay huge fees. And as long as the current trend of reverse brain drain continues, this would translate into a growing segment of our population getting a better education than they could have hoped for in India in the first place. And this country desperately need people who have a broader world view, and some international experience.

Hence proved.

Disclaimer: By no means, do I disrespect, discredit, or deny the existence of genuinely excellent educators and educational institutions in our country. They are there, but unfortunately as the exception rather than the norm.

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Twisted Logic #1 - Tolerance

This is the first in what will probably be a long series of great innovative thinking on my part that other people think is "twisted logic." #1 regards tolerance.
My proposition: Tolerance is just another form of intolerance. It's a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing.
Explanation: Plain and simple - people who claim to be 'tolerant' are empirically some of the most intolerant people I have met. In other words, tolerance has come to mean the non-tolerance of intolerant people. Next time someone says to you:

"I consider myself very tolerant. I love homosexual people. Some of them are my best friends."

simply repeat the following verbatim:

"That's gay."

I can guarantee you that in 9 out of 10 cases you will be subject to a long lecture / argument followed by a little physical violence or lynching for dessert.

What would the true tolerant person say?

"So, are you."

Disclaimer: I'm not homophobic.

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The Parking Mafia

Only in Delhi can we have a parking mafia!! :D The problem however is quite serious - with parking attendants charging Rs. 10 while they should be charging Rs. 5. Unfortunately, they have managed to create a public perception where the ordinary person actually believes that the official parking charge is Rs. 10.

A 2005 article reported that the MCD planned on prosecuting parking contrators who print fake tickets with a charge of Rs. 10 printed on them under s. 420 of The Indian Penal Code, 1860 which provides for the offence of "Cheating and dishonestly inducing delivery of property." (Yes, that's where the old 'chaar so bees' comes from!)

That's all well said and done, but like in the case of the recent traffic violations drive as per the High courts order increasing fines, it apparently fizzled out and the real crooks got nothing more than a slap on the wrists (if that!)

Anyway, I am yet to see a 'fake' parking ticket. The trick I have seen them do is that the ticket has printed on it something along the lines of 'Rs. 5 for 2 hr.s and Rs. 10 for every subsequent hour,' and the attendants (intentionally) rip off the ticket right after the 'Rs. 5' part. So like the vast majority of delhites, if you think that the charge is Rs. 10 and the ticket seems to be saying the same, you will end up paying double the amount you should.

I've been paying them Rs. 5 since I found out about this last year. Most attendants don't say anything because they know they don't have a stand. One or two odd ones will ask for Rs. 10 but as long as you are firm and confident, they give up very quickly. Only once did one guy give me back the money, asking me to keep it myself and not even bother giving him 5 rupees. I obliged him gladly.

A 2006 article on the other hand talks about how the MCD really intends to respond in true desi style - eliminating violations of law by simply making the violations lawful! If you regularize the irregular, then everything ends up being regular.... sweet. They did this with the unauthorized construction stuff that's been going on for the past 6 months or so. So now the official rate will become Rs. 10. (Apparently it was supposed to be enforced from Feb. 1, 2007 but I'm not sure if that's happened).

I personally think that they should not charge anything unless and until they start using at least a part of that fund to maintain and develop parking sites.

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I am moving to Japan

In Japan, the ps3 costs 60,000 Yen which converted is about $499 or Rs. 20,000/-. That means that the ps3 is half the price in Japan than it is here!!!!! Oh, the inhumanity!!!!

Not only that, but the games are about 75% the cost here, and I suppose that means that you can expect the accessories to be cheaper as well.

Source: Amazon Japan.

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Microsoft India introduces Xbox 360 Exchange Offer

Good Job, Microsoft. It seems like the company understand the gamers in India don't always have deep pockets. This is a very nice offer. But it comes with some 'terms & conditions.' So is it that nice?

• The offer reduces the price of the core console only. (From Rs. 19,990 to Rs. 15,990). Not a bad deal at all, but I wish it was on the premium console.
• The consoles you can give in exchange are the Xbox, PS2 and PSP. So don't go digging up your Super Nintendo.
• You have to ensure that you "shall not use any unauthorized or pirated software" the doing of which will render you disqualified. In other words, if you have a modded ps2,- too bad.
• They don't mention anything about whether the console should be in working order or not.... hmmmm.

To find out more go to this page.

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Bollywood, Plagiarism and Piracy: Time to step off the High Horse and Feed It.

This is a preview of some brilliant work being done by a few guys in Mumbai on how much and how blatantly bollywood copies movies from other countries' movies. It's really sad that they get away with it, and a mystery why they haven't been sued into the stone age.

On the other hand, bollywood gets very uptight and righteous when it comes to piracy. I especially find amusing their ad where they say "You wouldn't steal a car, you wouldn't steal a dvd from a store, then why do you steal a movie?" .... so we should stop downloading and thereby stop piracy. It's a pity that they don't listen to their own advice. Or perhaps, I should say it's a pity that the audience here remains uninformed and buys into their bullshit.

My advice: What bollywood needs to do is to:

1. Stop bitching about piracy.
2. Stop whining about not being internationally recognized (at the Oscars, Cannes etc.)
3. Stop gloating about how apparently bollywood makes the most number of movies in the world.
4. Change the system of a handful of 'stars' acting in each and every goddamn movie, and start hiring new talent.
   
5. Start putting more effort w.r.t. creativity.
   
6. Start getting their act together and stop acting like the greedy, untalented, unsophisticated amateurs that they currently show themselves to be.

btw: the movie is called "Four Step Plan" and I am starting to wonder whether they will ever release it, and if so, whether it would come on TV or not.

p.s. Personally the movie I hate most on account of unoriginality is "Phir Hera Pheri." I hate it on two accounts - it not only is an atrocious sequel to a really funny movie (Hera Pheri) but is a scene for scene copy of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels."

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Playstation 3 & Xbox 360 in India - The Problems

Finally! Next generation video game consoles have made their entry into the Indian market with the Xbox 360 and the PS3. But should you ditch your current console of choice (or PC) and dive into this world yet?


Price
The ps3 can be got for Rs. 38,000/- at Sony Worlds. As of today's date that is about $940. Compare this to the price in the States - $599.
The 360 (premium) comes for about Rs. 27,000/- available at a number of retailers. converted as of today's rates, that is about $665. The price in the States - $399.

Note: Both consoles here come with one wireless controller, but no games.
You can just imagine what the final cost will be with other essentials (you have to get a component/HDMI cable, another controller, 2 games). Don't be surprised if your parents/girlfriend/spouse think you are turning out to be one spoilt b***ard and give you one quick whack to check you in place.


TV Requirements
If you have a sweet huge LCD tv already, then you are already well on your way to next-gen gaming. Otherwise, prepare for a heart-attack.

HDTV
Although technically both systems will play on your standard-definition TV (sdtv), to get your money's worth, you must have a HDTV. Many people in fact complain of the text being illegible on sdtvs in many 360 games.
You should get at least a 37" LCD HDTV TV which will run you upwards of Rs. 80,000/- !!!

Widescreen
Apart from DVDs (expensive) and next-gen consoles (super expensive) there is no widescreen content in India yet, and by the looks of things, there will be no such content for a long time to come. This means that if you get such a TV then you are either damned to watch all regular TV programming stretched horizontally, or alternatively to set the ratio in your TV to 4:3 and in essence, be watching a smaller TV. (watching 4:3 on a 37" widescreen TV would be like watching a normal 29" TV).

What I recommend: Forget widescreen (unless you love DVDs as opposed to your money) and get this 29" Sony standard-screen CRT HDTV (1080i) for a MRP of Rs. 36,990/-.
Edit: An Even better deal is the 29" Philips standard-screen CRT HDTV (1080p) for a MRP of Rs. 23,990/- !!!!

Availability of Games
Here, the ps3 has much more of an edge. Although only a few titles are available right now in India, the console is region-free and the games are technically supposed to be region-free (i.e. depends on the developers). So any game bought anywhere in the world should work on your Indian ps3.
If you buy a 360 here, you cannot play games imported from places like the States or Japan, though European games should work.

Advertising
Both companies are guilty of piss-poor advertising, which not surprisingly has led to lacklustre sales. While Microsoft seems to think that the Indian market is so dumb that people will flock to buy 360s just by throwing a movie star and a cricketer in every ad without showing what the console is all about, Sony seems to think that one or two print ads alone should suffice.
They would be better off saving whatever little money they spend on advertising and instead offering a free game (of choice) with every console.

Support
Although details are still sketchy, but the sketchiness of the details makes one apprehensive about how well the systems would be supported here in terms of things like what would be the turn around time for a console to be repaired and returned to the customer. In essence, is the warranty worth it to spend that extra $341 (almost Rs. 14,000/-) to buy a ps3 here than asking your chacha in the States to get you one on his next trip?

Batches
It's no secret that when consoles are released, the first few batches may have bugs in them (often requiring repair / replacement of the machines). Presumably, the consoles that have been imported here belong to such batches. Once Microsoft releases the anticipated cooler and more energy-efficient 360s (running on 65nm chips as opposed to the current 90nm ones) in the States, when will we see these batches here in India? Similarly, rumour has it that Sony will be releasing a 80GB version of the ps3 in the States (as they have already done in S.Korea I think). When will we see these here?

Online Play
With the next generation of video game consoles, all parties seem to be emphasizing online play more and more. Internet speeds in India still leave much to be desired. Will these games work well on 256kbps connections?

Motto: When the hell is the Wii coming to India, and will they repeat the same mistakes of the ps3 and 360?

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